80下 堕入谷底老父忏悔 应激反应为母伤心(1/2)

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    <h3>80下 堕入谷底老父忏悔 应激反应为母伤心（第1页）</h3><script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    一秒记住【xiaoyanwenxue】精彩无弹窗免费！一到周末包晓棠常睡在姐姐家，一来帮姐姐照顾学成，二来直播做菜有动力，三来陪着姐姐帮衬姐姐她感到快乐有价值。晚上十一点她停了自己的网课，洗完澡正准备上床，见姐姐迟迟未归有些纳闷，晓棠打去电话，这一问才知学成出事了。

    <script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    按照姐姐的吩咐她带了一条厚被子给学成睡觉，另为姐姐带上厚外套和证件、病历本、水杯、充电器、药片这些，连夜打车前往所在医院的急诊室。凌晨一点，晓棠抱着大包小包去寂静的医院里找人，见面后彼此无语。姐妹俩为孩子铺好被子，将学成轻轻放在医院的座椅上睡觉。晓棠去热水房接了些热水，胃痛的晓星喝了几片药，微微舒展麻木的腿脚，而后姐妹俩裹着厚衣服坐在一块。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6IGK5a6M5a2m5oiQ55qE55eF5oOF77yM5pmT5pif5LiA6KiA5LiN5Y+R77yM5aeQ5aa55L+p5aW95Y2K5pmM5peg6K+d5Y+v6K+044CC6ZqU5LqG5b6I5LmF77yM5pmT5qOg5b+D5Lit5LiN5bmz77yM5byA5Y+j6Ieq6LSj4oCc5oCq5oiR44CC5LuK5aSp4oCm4oCm5YW25a6e5oiR5pys5p2l5LiN5oOz5Y675ZKM5ZCM5LqL6IGa5Lya55qE77yM6KaB5piv5oiR5LiN5Y6777yM5a2m5oiQ5Lmf5LiN5Lya5Y676YKj6L655LqG44CC4oCdPC9wPg=='));</script>

    聊完学成的病情，晓星一言不发，姐妹俩好半晌无话可说。隔了很久，晓棠心中不平，开口自责“怪我。今天……其实我本来不想去和同事聚会的，要是我不去，学成也不会去那边了。”<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5Yir6K+05LqG44CC4oCdPC9wPg=='));</script>

    “别说了。”<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    晓星握住了妹子的手腕，靠在她肩上，忽地漆黑中泣不成声，急促地啜泣。跟姐姐在深圳这么多年了，从没见她哭得这般狼狈。晓棠不敢再言，抱着姐姐的肩膀亦大泪不止。出现这样的事情，最难过的无疑是母亲了，晓棠真想自己是个男人——高大强壮的男人，好在遇事时使不上脑子使得上拳头。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pmT5pif5ZOt5a6M5ZCO6IOD6YeM5Y+I55eb77yM6Z2g5Zyo5qSF5a2Q5LiK5bem5Y+z5LiN5piv44CB57ue55eb6Zq+5b+N77yM5pmT5qOg5Y+I5o6l5LqG5p2v5byA5rC055So5p2v5a2Q5b2T5pqW55O257uZ5aeQ5aeQ5pqW6IKa5a2Q77yM6KeB5LiN6LW35L2c55So5aW56K6p5aeQ5aeQ5omt5puy5Zyw5Y2K6Lq65Zyo5bqn5qSF5LiK77yM5aW557uZ5aW55o+J6IKa5a2Q77yM5aW95YOP5bCP5pe25YCZ6Ieq5bex5Y+X5LqG5YeJ5aeQ5aeQ57uZ5aW55o+J6IKa5a2Q5LiA5qC344CC5ZCO5Y2K5aSc5aSp5pu05YeJ5LqG77yM5pmT5qOg5aW96K+05q256K+077yM57uI5LqO5Yqd5aeQ5aeQ5ZCI55y8552h5LqG5LiA5Lya44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    晓星哭完后胃里又痛，靠在椅子上左右不是、绞痛难忍，晓棠又接了杯开水用杯子当暖瓶给姐姐暖肚子，见不起作用她让姐姐扭曲地半躺在座椅上，她给她揉肚子，好像小时候自己受了凉姐姐给她揉肚子一样。后半夜天更凉了，晓棠好说歹说，终于劝姐姐合眼睡了一会。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    这一晚老人钟能也不好受，迟迟难眠，睡一睡醒一醒。他在反思，是不是自己的沉默纵容了今天的这一切。可回首过往，他也是这样打大钟理的，钟理的爷爷同样这般打大自己，为何到学成这里出了毛病呢。老人也怪罪自己今晚为了两百元忽视了孩子，如果这一晚他在家里，也许学成有他保护不会致此。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    钟能一方面担心学成的病情，一方面担心自己的儿子。任是钟理多大，他都是他的娃儿，是他的骄傲，是他的第一牵绊。钟理曾是钟家湾的第一个大学生，是钟家湾里最早在一线城市买房子的人，是村里半世纪以来最最有出息的那个人。奈何这几年处处不顺，自小高傲的他如何拾起自己掉在坑里的尊严？老头这些年来一直为儿子捏着把汗。人朝上走易，朝下走更易，难的是几经起伏之后还有心从下面再次朝上走。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    咸咸浅浅的泪水中，钟能想到了孩提时的钟理，孩儿那般懂事可爱，那般聪明伶俐。那时候的农村娃大都迷糊，钟理小小年纪竟开口说自己将来要当工程师；他外公七十岁的寿席上，钟理区区八岁竟知道给外公和舅舅敬酒；别的娃儿对上学还没概念时，他有回考了第三名还低头说没考好；有回真没考好，钟能罚他暑假天天放羊并给老牛割一篓草，谁成想这娃儿四十天一天不落，草房里史无前例地堆了满满一屋的青草；在他婆（钟理的祖母）临终那两年十岁刚过的钟理勤快体贴地伺候左右，村里人见了哪个不竖起大拇指夸他是个大孝子……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Zue5oOz5YS/5a2Q6Z2S5bCR5bm055qE5YWJ5Y2O77yM6ICB54i25Lqy5r2454S25rOq5LiL44CC6ZKf55CG5aSp5oCn5piv5ZaE55qE5aW955qE44CB5a2d6aG655qE5oeC5LqL55qE77yM5LiN6L+H5piv6L+Z5Lqb5bm055qE5aSx6LSl5oyr5Lyk5LqG5LuW44CC5ZOq5Liq5Lq65piv56yR5ZOI5ZOI5p2/552A6Lqr5Zyw6LWw6L+H57ud5aKD77yf6LCB5LiN5piv6Lqr5peg5YiG5paH5pe25LiL5oSP6K+G5Zyw5o6W5L2P6Ieq5bex5o6J57Wu55qE6KGj6KKW77yf6LCB5LiN5piv5aSn55eF5p2l5LqG5ruh6Lqr5oOo55m95LiN5oS/54Wn6ZWc5LiN5oOz6KeB5Lq677yf6LCB5LiN5piv5aSx6LSl5LqG5Zyo6buR5aSc6YeM5Zad552A6YWS6aqC552A5aSp5oq554Ot5rOq77yf5Lq655Sf5LiN5bm477yM6Z2i55u45LiN5aW96Ieq54S26ICM54S277yb5b+D5aKD5LiN5aW95Lqm6Ieq54S26ICM54S244CC5Lq65oCn6buR55m95Lqk5Yqg77yM5rKh6LCB5Zyo5bm06ICB5Lul5ZCO6L+Y57qv5rSB5peg55GV77yM5YCS5piv5bKB5pyI55qE55GV55a15pu06KGs5b6X5Ye66Imv5ZaE55qE5Y+v6LS144CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    回想儿子青少年的光华，老父亲潸然泪下。钟理天性是善的好的、孝顺的懂事的，不过是这些年的失败挫伤了他。哪个人是笑哈哈板着身地走过绝境？谁不是身无分文时下意识地掖住自己掉絮的衣袖？谁不是大病来了满身惨白不愿照镜不想见人？谁不是失败了在黑夜里喝着酒骂着天抹热泪？人生不幸，面相不好自然而然；心境不好亦自然而然。人性黑白交加，没谁在年老以后还纯洁无瑕，倒是岁月的瑕疵更衬得出良善的可贵。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ZKf6IO955u45L+h5LuW5YS/5a2Q5pys5oCn6Imv5ZaE77yM5LuW55u45L+h6ZKf55CG5LiA5a6a6IO95oy66L+H6L+Z6IqC77yM5LiA5a6a5Lya5Lic5bGx5YaN6LW344CC5pWi5oS/5a2Z5a2Q5bCG5p2l6IO95aSf5a695a655LuW54i454i455qE57OK5raC77yM6I+p6JCo5L+d5L2R5a2m5oiQ6ZW/5aSn5LqG44CB5oiQ5a625LqG44CB6YGH5LqL5LqG6IO95L2T6LCF5LuW54i454i46L+Z5pe255qE6I2S5ZSQ5ZKM6aKT5ZSQ77yb56WI56W35qKF5qKF5aW55aaI5b+15Zyo5Lul5YmN56eN56eN5Yir5pS+5byD6ZKf55CG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    钟能相信他儿子本性良善，他相信钟理一定能挺过这节，一定会东山再起。敢愿孙子将来能够宽容他爸爸的糊涂，菩萨保佑学成长大了、成家了、遇事了能体谅他爸爸这时的荒唐和颓唐；祈祷梅梅她妈念在以前种种别放弃钟理。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    老人家这一夜，不是在泪中回忆儿子的万般好，便是在泪中祈祷和忏悔。他忏悔自己曾经对钟理打得太狠，以致暴力延续到了学成身上；他忏悔以前不应该对钟理要求太高，导致这些年钟理走得太快摔了大跟斗；他忏悔不应该在童年的儿子身上一层层附加自己的虚荣和希望，以致误导了钟理的人生；他忏悔在农村那个贫穷愚昧又极度虚荣的地方没有保全好一个孩子的天性之善，反而过早地将他引到大人的名利场中……他忏悔儿子的今天有他的自私自利和好高骛远，他希望他的人生晚年可以补偿对儿子曾经的亏欠，他哭求各路神仙保佑理儿娃今晚别再出什么岔子，他双手合十一遍遍盼着他明早好好回来。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+4oCc5oiR5YS/5a2Q5piv5aW955qE5ZaE55qE77yM5LuW5Y+q5piv54qv5LqG57OK5raC4oCd4oCU4oCU6ICB5Lq65a625Zyo5qKm6YeM5ZCR5aSp55Sz5piO77yM5LiA6YGN5Y+I5LiA6YGN44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    “我儿子是好的善的，他只是犯了糊涂”——老人家在梦里向天申明，一遍又一遍。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6Zeq54OB55qE55+z5Z+O44CB6Iyr6Iyr55qE56m56aG244CB5Ye55Ye455qE5Zyw56CW44CB5paR6amz55qE6Ieq6KGM6L2m44CB5rKJ6buY55qE55m+5LiH5rG96L2m44CB5a6J6K+m55qE6LaF5biC44CB5piO5Lqu55qE5bel5Zyw44CB6aOO5aOw6bmk5ZSz55qE5qGl5rSe44CB6ZyT6Jm55pSS5Yqo55qE5bqf5rC05rKz44CB5bSt5paw5Y+R5Lqu55qE6auY6ZOB6L2o6YGT44CB5aSn6IKa6IWp55qE5rWB5rWq54yr4oCm4oCmPC9wPg=='));</script>

    闪烁的石城、茫茫的穹顶、凹凸的地砖、斑驳的自行车、沉默的百万汽车、安详的超市、明亮的工地、风声鹤唳的桥洞、霓虹攒动的废水河、崭新发亮的高铁轨道、大肚腩的流浪猫……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y+544CC5Lq66KaB5Y+55aSa5bCR5Y+j5rCU77yM5omN6IO96Kej5byA6IO45Lit55qE6YOB56ev77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    叹。人要叹多少口气，才能解开胸中的郁积？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5LiN5piv5LiA5Liq572q5oG255qE5Lq644CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    他不是一个罪恶的人。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ZKf55CG55u45L+h6Ieq5bex5LiN5piv5LiA5Liq572q5oG255qE5Lq677yM5Y+v5piv5Lq655Sf5oCO5LmI6LWw5Yiw5LqG6L+Z5LiA5q2l5ZGi77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    钟理相信自己不是一个罪恶的人，可是人生怎么走到了这一步呢？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aaC5p6c77yM6L+Z5qyh5oqK5YS/5a2Q5omT5q275LqG77yM6YKj5LmI77yM6JGs5LqG5LuW77yM5LuW6Zmq6JGs44CC5Y2z5L6/5rOV5aSW5byA5oGp77yM6L+Z5qC35rGh5rWK55qE5Lq655Sf5Lmf5rKh5pyJ5oSP5LmJ5LqG44CC5q+V55Sf55qE5b+P5oKU5LiN6L+H5piv5Zyo5aCG56ev5LiA5Liq56yR6K+d44CC5omA5pyJ6K6y5Ye65p2l55qE5b+P5oKU5peg5LiN5piv576O5YyW6Ieq5oiR55qE5omY6K+N44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    如果，这次把儿子打死了，那么，葬了他，他陪葬。即便法外开恩，这样污浊的人生也没有意义了。毕生的忏悔不过是在堆积一个笑话。所有讲出来的忏悔无不是美化自我的托词。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aaC5p6c77yM6L+Z5Zue5oqK5YS/5a2Q5omT5Lyk5q6L5LqG77yM6YKj5LmI77yM5LuW5Lya6Iqx5LiA55Sf5pe26Ze05Y675Yy75rK75LuW44CB54Wn5paZ5LuW44CC5Y+N5q2j6Ieq5bex55qE5Lq655Sf5bey57uP5rKh5LqG55uu55qE5Zyw77yM54Wn6aG+5YS/5a2Q5YCS5piv6IO95pSv5pKR5LuW5rS75LiL5Y6777yM5bCx5YOP6ICB5rGJ77yI5oyH54i25Lqy6ZKf6IO977yJ5LiA5qC344CC5Lq655Sf5oC75b6X5om+552A5LiA5Liq6auY5LqO6Ieq5bex55qE55uu5qCH77yM5omN6IO95pSv5pKR5Y2R5b6u55qE6Ieq5bex6LaF6ISx5Zyw5aWJ54yu44CB5YWF5ruh5biM5pyb5Zyw5YmN6KGM44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    如果，这回把儿子打伤残了，那么，他会花一生时间去医治他、照料他。反正自己的人生已经没了目的地，照顾儿子倒是能支撑他活下去，就像老汉（指父亲钟能）一样。人生总得找着一个高于自己的目标，才能支撑卑微的自己超脱地奉献、充满希望地前行。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aaC5p6c77yM5aSp5Y+v5oCc6L+Z5qyh5rKh5pyJ54OZ5LiL5q6L55a+77yM5a2m5oiQ5oiW5pmT5pif5Y+q5piv5q2k5ZCO5LiN5YaN55CG5LuW5LqG5oiW6ICF5YiG6YGT5oms6ZWz5LqG77yM5Lmf5rKh5YWz57O744CC5Lq655Sf5peg6Z2e55Sf6ICB55eF5q2744CB5Zac5oCS5ZOA5LmQ44CB5oGp5oCo5oOF5LuH44CB5oKy5qyi56a75ZCI77yM5pei54S26YO95b6X57uP5Y6G77yM5LiN5aaC5pep5p2l5pep6Kej6ISx44CC5rS7552A5pyA6Ium5LiN6L+H5oCo5oGo5Yir56a777yM5Y+N5q2j5LuW5bey5oiQ6KGM5bC46LWw6IKJ77yM6Ium55Sc55qG5Y+X44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    如果，天可怜这次没有烙下残疾，学成或晓星只是此后不再理他了或者分道扬镳了，也没关系。人生无非生老病死、喜怒哀乐、恩怨情仇、悲欢离合，既然都得经历，不如早来早解脱。活着最苦不过怨恨别离，反正他已成行尸走肉，苦甜皆受。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6YWS5ZCn55qE5Zan5ZOX44CB5oCl6LqB55qE5b2x5a2Q44CB562J5b6F55qE6YeO54uX44CB6L2s6KeS55qE5Yi655y86Lev54Gv44CB5aSp5qGl5LiL55qE56a75Lq65qKm44CB6ZKo5Lid5LiK54eD54On55qE5r+A5oOF44CB56m66LCD5aOw6YeM55qE5aSx55yg44CB6Z6L5Z6r5LiK55qE55+z5a2Q44CB5Y2I5aSc57u95pS+55qE55m96Imy6Iqx5YS/44CB5LiN5YaN5Yqo5by555qE5q276ICB6byg44CB55+z6ZuV5aGR6YeM5rqi5Ye655qE6ZSI5rC04oCm4oCm5YmN6Lev5bm95pqX77yM5LiN55+l6Lqr5aSE5L2V5Zyw44CC6ZKf55CG55So5aSc6KGM5Y2B5YWs6YeM5p2l5YKs5Y+R5riF6YaS77yM5oCd57Si5LqG5Y2B5YWs6YeM77yM5LuW5L6d54S25rWR5rWK5LiN5piO44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    酒吧的喧哗、急躁的影子、等待的野狗、转角的刺眼路灯、天桥下的离人梦、钨丝上燃烧的激情、空调声里的失眠、鞋垫上的石子、午夜绽放的白色花儿、不再动弹的死老鼠、石雕塑里溢出的锈水……前路幽暗，不知身处何地。钟理用夜行十公里来催发清醒，思索了十公里，他依然浑浊不明。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5aeL57uI5oOz5LiN6YCa5Li65LuA5LmI6Ieq5bex5Y+X5LiN5LqG5YS/5a2Q5Zyo5Y2r55Sf6Ze0546p4oCU4oCU6Lqy552A5LuW6L+Y5piv5a6z5oCV5LuW77yf5LuW5oOz5LiN6YCa6Ieq5bex5Li65L2V5aSx5o6n5pe25oC75piv5omT5Lq64oCU4oCU5Zug5Li65LuO5bCP6KKr6L+Z5qC35ouz5omT6ISa6Lii5ZCX77yf6YWS57K+6bq76YaJ55qE5rC46L+c5piv6Lqr5L2T77yM6ICM6Z2e5oSP5b+X5ZKM5oCd57u044CC5LuW5b6I5riF6YaS77yM5LiA55u05b6I5riF6YaS77yM5Y205riF6YaS5Zyw5aSx5o6n44CC5LuW5piO55m95LiA5YiH55qE6YC76L6R77yM6Z2i5a+5546w5a6e5LuW5L6d54S25aSx5o6n44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    他始终想不通为什么自己受不了儿子在卫生间玩——躲着他还是害怕他？他想不通自己为何失控时总是打人——因为从小被这样拳打脚踢吗？酒精麻醉的永远是身体，而非意志和思维。他很清醒，一直很清醒，却清醒地失控。他明白一切的逻辑，面对现实他依然失控。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    他不记得从何时起开始打儿子？他不清楚打过孩子多少次了？他总以为没事总是心存侥幸。他为自己解脱，自己打得并非是最严重的，小时候有回他回家晚了被父亲打得满地打滚；隔壁邻居的小孩因割草少割了几搓被打得哇哇叫，五年级不小心弄坏了两块钱的钢笔堂哥被大伯打得在外面过了一夜。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6LCB5Zyo6ICz55WU5ZC5566r77yf6LCB5Zyo5aS06aG25omT6byT77yf6LCB5Zyo5aSn5Zyw5LiK5Y236LW35ouC6KKW5byV5p2l6aOT6aOO77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    谁在耳畔吹箫？谁在头顶打鼓？谁在大地上卷起拂袖引来飓风？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aSp5LiK5pyJ5aSa5bCR6aKX5pif5pif77yf5Zyw5LiK5pyJ5aSa5bCR5bqn6ZuE5bGx77yf5LqV54S255qE5qW8576k5Lit5Li65L2V5rKh5pyJ5LiA5p2h55WF6YCa5peg6Zi755qE5aSn6Lev77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    天上有多少颗星星？地上有多少座雄山？井然的楼群中为何没有一条畅通无阻的大路？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y2D5bC655+z5bSW77yM5Li65L2V5oyh5L2P5oiR55qE5Y676Lev77yf6ISa5LiL5Y6J6ay877yM57yY5L2V5ouJ5oiR5YWl5Zyw54ux77yf5aSp5aCC55qE5r+A5piC5ZKM6Z2Z56mG5LuK5aSc5Li66LCB6ICM5aSH77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    千尺石崖，为何挡住我的去路？脚下厉鬼，缘何拉我入地狱？天堂的激昂和静穆今夜为谁而备？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    内疚侵染全身，将他染成黑色的幽灵。是什么打开了他心中恶魔出现的开关——失去晓星的顾忌？被社交孤立的自尊？被儿女疏远的愤怒？被老父扶持的羞惭？待业多年的失败？无法重新开始的自卑？被邻舍看低的自负？被傲慢毁坏的人生？被酒精麻醉的大脑？被年龄追逐的无力？被贫穷再次击垮的不甘？被美满家庭即将破裂的冒犯？被儿子惧怕所带来的征服感？被社交网络绞杀后的错乱情绪？被绝望未来映射的惶惶不安？压抑积成暴力的天性使然？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6LCB5ouW5LuW5YWl6buE5rOJ77yf6LCB5ouJ5LuW6LWP5pel5Ye677yf6LCB5oS/5LiO5LuW6YCa6KGM77yf6LCB5oS/56uW6ICz5YC+5ZCs77yf5oCl5L+D55qE5b+D6Lez5Zug6LCB6ICM5Zac77yf5o+q5b+D55qE55a855eb5Zug6LCB6ICM6LW377yf5Yaw5YeJ55qE6Lqv5L2T5Li65L2V5LiA5Y2K5aCV5YWl5q275Zyw5LiA5Y2K6L+Y5Zyo5ZaY5oGv77yf5rK+5ruh5rGh5rOl55qE5Y+M6ISa77yM5Li65L2V5LiA5Y+q5pat6KOC5LiA5Y+q5YyW5oiQ55+z5Z2X5o+S5YWl6buE5rOJ77yf5YmN5pa55pqX6buR5peg6L6577yM5Li65L2V6L+Z5Y+q5pat6KOC55qE6ISa6L+Y6KaB5YmN6KGM5ZGi77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    谁拖他入黄泉？谁拉他赏日出？谁愿与他通行？谁愿竖耳倾听？急促的心跳因谁而喜？揪心的疼痛因谁而起？冰凉的躯体为何一半堕入死地一半还在喘息？沾满污泥的双脚，为何一只断裂一只化成石块插入黄泉？前方暗黑无边，为何这只断裂的脚还要前行呢？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Luw5aSp6Ze35Y+577yM6ZKf55CG5LuO5p2l5rKh5oOz6L+H6Ieq5bex5Lya5oiQ5Li65pa95pq06ICF77yM5Y+v5piv55Sf5rS755qE5Ymn5pys5LiA5q2l5q2l5Zyw5pyd552A5LuW5LiN5biM5pyb55qE5pa55ZCR6LWw44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    仰天闷叹，钟理从来没想过自己会成为施暴者，可是生活的剧本一步步地朝着他不希望的方向走。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6L+Z5Yeg5bm06ZKf55CG5LiN55+l6YGT5YS/5a2Q5oCV5LuW5ZCX77yf5b2T54S255+l6YGT44CC5q+P5b2T5LuW5Lus54i25a2Q5L+p5Zyo5LiA5aSE5pe277yM5a2m5oiQ5oC75piv5b6F5Zyo56a76Ieq5bex5pyA6L+c55qE6KeS6JC977yb5q+P5b2T5LuW5oqs5aS05om+5a2m5oiQ5pe277yM5YS/5a2Q5rC46L+c5LiA5Y+M5bCP55y8552b55uv552A6Ieq5bex77yb5q+P5b2T5LuW6LW36Lqr5Yqo5by55pe277yM5a2m5oiQ5peg5LiN5Lya5Lmg5oOv5oCn5Zyw5oqW5LiA5LiL44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    这几年钟理不知道儿子怕他吗？当然知道。每当他们父子俩在一处时，学成总是待在离自己最远的角落；每当他抬头找学成时，儿子永远一双小眼睛盯着自己；每当他起身动弹时，学成无不会习惯性地抖一下。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5Li65L2V6ICM5pq05oCS5aSx5o6n77yf5oCS5YS/5a2Q5oC75piv5oKE5peg5aOw5oGv5Zyw5LuO5LuW55y855qu5bqV5LiL5raI5aSx77yf5oCS6Ieq5bex5L2/5YS/5a2Q5YOP576K6KeB5LqG54u85LiA5qC35Zyw5a+55LuW77yf5oCS6Ieq5bex5oSa6KCi5Yiw55So5pq05Yqb5bCG5YS/5a2Q5ouJ5Yiw55y85YmN77yf5oCS6Ieq5bex5pWw5qyh5ZKE5ZKE5aiB6YC85ZCO5pyA5ZCO5pyd5YS/5a2Q5pa95Lul5ouz5aS077yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

    他为何而暴怒失控？怒儿子总是悄无声息地从他眼皮底下消失？怒自己使儿子像羊见了狼一样地对他？怒自己愚蠢到用暴力将儿子拉到眼前？怒自己数次咄咄威逼后最后朝儿子施以拳头？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aSa5LmI5aSx6LSl5ZWK77yB5YS/5a2Q5a6B5oS/5Z2Q5Zyo6KeS6JC96YeM5Yaw5YeJ55qE5Zyw5LiK77yM5a6B5oS/6Lqy5Zyo5qW85LiK6Zi05pqX6ICB5pen55qE5Y6V5omA6YeM77yM5Lmf5LuO5LiN5Lya5Z2Q5Zyo5LuW6Lqr6L6555qE5rKZ5Y+R5LiK44CB5qSF5a2Q5LiK44CC6IW55YaF54Gr6L6j6L6j77yM6IO45Lit5LiA5Zui5Yia56Gs44CC5LiA5Liq54i25Lqy5Zyo55So5pq05Yqb5by66L+r5YS/5a2Q5Lqy6L+R5LuW4oCU4oCU6L+35LmL5Y+v56yR44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    多么失败啊！儿子宁愿坐在角落里冰凉的地上，宁愿躲在楼上阴暗老旧的厕所里，也从不会坐在他身边的沙发上、椅子上。腹内火辣辣，胸中一团刚硬。一个父亲在用暴力强迫儿子亲近他——迷之可笑。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5bm057qq5aSn5LqG77yM6Iad55uW5q+P6YCi5byv5oqY5Lya5Y+R5Ye65ZON5aOw44CC57uI5LqO5Zyo5LiA5aSE6Lev6L656ZW/5qSF77yM5LuW5Z2Q5LqG5LiL5p2l44CC6L+Z5Yeg5bm06ZKf55CG6L+H5b6X5b6I5LiN5aW977yM5Lq65Lus5Y+q55yL5Yiw5LqG5bGx5Y2X6Z2i55qE5YeM5Lmx6I2S6Iqc77yM5Y2055yL5LiN5Yiw5bGx5YyX55qE6buR5pqX5r2u5rm/44CC5q+P5LiA5qyh5omT5a6-->>

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